Today I found myself looking at the calendar trying to put the days behind me, now I’ve never been one to do this. I believe, as I have said in the past, that every day is a gift and to hold on and embrace every moment. Well with the situation at hand, how do I continue to be true to myself? With a family as large as ours it seem not a month goes by that were not celebrating a Birthday and so all I have to do is look at my grandkids and see the years passing by way too fast. Most of them are now taller than me, and I’m not talking by a little bit, it’s a lot! I do believe that there is one that will never pass me by, she’s almost 17 and I think she might be at her tallest. Now that’s not to say that as I grow old, I’ve been told that people shrink, so maybe that’s when she will pass me by. I’ll just continue to enjoy her shrimpness for now. (I don’t think shrimpness is a word, but I’m going with it anyway).
I love the summer months, I know we don’t have many of them, but I’ve lived in this area all my life and still can’t say I love the rain as many Washington people do. If I think of the summer months that are just around the corner I get really excited! Of course, I will have chemo behind me, radiation will be complete and my energy will have started to return and hey, the hair will have started to grow. Who could ask for more? During the summer months we get together in my back yard for every occasion, if we haven’t something to celebrate we makeup something, and I’m not kidding, one time we celebrated because I got a new hairdryer, for real.
With my high anxiety I’ve been told to meditate; now how do I do that? I’ve been so busy in the last few years I have never taken time to just sit and meditate and believe me it’s not an easy thing to wrap your mind around. I started by listening to some relaxation CD’s and trying to figure out how to clear my mind and just concentrate on nothing. It takes some practice but soon I realized that I had been meditating for years when I talk with God. I could close my eyes and see my family in the backyard, the kids all dancing and playing, the BBQ fired up and laughter from the family. I could even feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. (Then I realized it was really a hot flash).
On this journey I know there is something new for me every day and although some days I really don’t want to know, I’m growing because of it. So on this cold and rainy January day I will remember how important every minute of every day is and when things get hard I can still embrace the day and all it has to offer.
I love the summer months, I know we don’t have many of them, but I’ve lived in this area all my life and still can’t say I love the rain as many Washington people do. If I think of the summer months that are just around the corner I get really excited! Of course, I will have chemo behind me, radiation will be complete and my energy will have started to return and hey, the hair will have started to grow. Who could ask for more? During the summer months we get together in my back yard for every occasion, if we haven’t something to celebrate we makeup something, and I’m not kidding, one time we celebrated because I got a new hairdryer, for real.
With my high anxiety I’ve been told to meditate; now how do I do that? I’ve been so busy in the last few years I have never taken time to just sit and meditate and believe me it’s not an easy thing to wrap your mind around. I started by listening to some relaxation CD’s and trying to figure out how to clear my mind and just concentrate on nothing. It takes some practice but soon I realized that I had been meditating for years when I talk with God. I could close my eyes and see my family in the backyard, the kids all dancing and playing, the BBQ fired up and laughter from the family. I could even feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. (Then I realized it was really a hot flash).
On this journey I know there is something new for me every day and although some days I really don’t want to know, I’m growing because of it. So on this cold and rainy January day I will remember how important every minute of every day is and when things get hard I can still embrace the day and all it has to offer.
2 comments:
I am sooooo ready to move to a tropical climate or someplace where the sun can shine on my back every day of the year....and then, I am reminded of how much I appreciate the changes of the seasons and how I'd miss the smell of fall and the first drop of snow flakes in the winter and the blossoms of spring....perhaps we'd take summer for granted if we didn't have the seasons to look forward to. I see my life this way. Sickness=Humbleness-or Rachel SLOW DOWN Energy=time for an exercise routine or DANCE DANCE DANCE. Joy comes in the morning. Let us remember that God's purpose and plans are not always what we expect them to be. Jeremiah 29:11
You are such a huge inspiration for me GG! I have been reading your blog, and you have taught me that no matter how hard or bad things get in life that I need to keep my chin and because "the sun'll come out, tomorrow." (: Time will fly, and before you know it Summer will be here and you will be all better (:
God Bless your soul! You are such a strong, beautiful,and brave woman!
-Sara Peterson
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