Claustrophobia is usually described as a fear of enclosed places. A more accurate description might be 'a fear of not having an easy escape route' because for anyone who experiences this phobia this is the predominating feature - you feel a need to be able to get out or get home, quickly.
I’ve always been uncomfortable riding in an elevator and trips by plane make me a little uneasy but I never would have considered myself claustrophobic? I found this description and still have a hard time identifying with it.
Almost nine months ago when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer my surgeon wanted me to have a breast MRI, no big deal right! That’s what I thought but was I ever wrong. Having the procedure puts you into a very enclosed space and is very loud as the machine does its job taking pictures that can only be seen with the images that it produces. As you can imagine this can be very beneficial when trying to see small spots that might be hiding in the very complicated tissue of the breast.
So what happened was this, I had no idea I would have problems when I arrived for my MRI? My son-in-law and I laughed and joked on our way to the appointment but I was really good at putting on a happy face in the midst of all this. Every test I had made me uneasy with the fear of them finding something new looming over my head. Anyway, this test is a little different than a regular MRI, you lay on your tummy and each breast has like a hole it goes into and then kind of clamped in, then they put head phones on so you don’t hear the loud clanking of the machine. When the test begins the machine starts moving you into the enclosed tube backwards. I felt tied down and began to have a panic feeling, I tried to talk myself out of whatever was happening to me but my heart started to race and I knew I had lost. I quickly started pushing the panic button they had given me and the test was stopped before it was ever started. Now what? They rescheduled the test and I would take sedation before trying again. A week later the test was repeated with mild sedation and was still difficult, but I did it!
The results of the test were soon in and showed several little spots that were determined to be benign, so that was that.
I was instructed to arrive at my appointment an hour early so that I could first check in and be able to sign all the important papers. Once I was checked in I asked if I should take the little pill that was going to put me in a relaxed state for the procedure and most likely the rest of the day. I had requested something stronger this time and when giving the green flag I put the little pill in my mouth and washed it down with a big gulp of water.
The little yellow pill had not had the chance to take affect when the nurse called my name and had me put on the familiar gown and answer questions about allergic reactions. During this procedure an IV port is placed in your arm and during the imaging a contrast is pushed into you vein and dyes the tissue. Soon the man running the machine came to the waiting area and explained that he would have to reschedule my test because of a recent reaction I had to a new medication. I would have to be pre medicated with steroids and Benadryl OK?
I waited for a call from the center to reschedule the appointment and received a call yesterday. The woman on the phone explained that there had been a misunderstanding and they thought I had a reaction to the contrast dye. I had told her I had no problem with it the first time but between those who made the decision they had a miscommunication.
So I spent two days this week trying to get over the sedation from the test that didn’t happen. Oh well, I will do it again next week and just have to go with it, this time I will be sure to ask if all is well before I take that little yellow pill..
