March 27, 2011
I’m so ready to be normal again! Whatever normal is I could sure use something close. Here I sit with one boob that looks like it has seen way to much sun with the rest of me looking lily white. Oh well they say in time it will be back to its normal color and my body parts will all match again.
Last week I decided I would venture out in public without a head cover, no hat and no wig. I still have very little hair, but it’s there and I’m kind of excited about it. While I was at my radiation appointment it didn’t seem to faze any of them so on my way home I stopped at sports authority to see about buying an abs lounger. I was no sooner out of my car when I could feel the eyes of the people around me staring and wondering. I started wondering myself what could they be thinking, they have to know that it’s from cancer treatment but then again maybe they don’t know? I tried to remember how I looked at people who were different before my diagnoses, and I guess it’s hard because unless you have been there you don’t know. The young guy they sent to help me in the exercise equipment department had a look on his face of fear. I could only imagine what he was thinking? He let me know they didn’t have what I was looking for and maybe I should go to Wal-Mart. Not a very pushy sales guy? I remembered how I used to think that people lost their hair because of the cancer and didn’t know it was because of the treatment they have to go through. Maybe he thought I had something contagious?
I’m not sure what I was thinking when I went out today without covering my head. I truly don’t like to be noticed and today I was not only noticed but was the topic of many whispers. I guess it’s ok because now I know what it’s like to be different and I can look at the rest of the world in a different way now. Not one of us knows what tomorrow will bring or what hurdles we will have to go over. Our life’s can change in the blink of an eye and we can be the one that is different. Although my hair will grow back and I will blend into the crowd again, I will always remember to be different is a gift from God that only makes us stronger and more compassionate to others.
