Next week I have my appointment scheduled at the Carol Milgard Breast Center in Tacoma. This is the biggest center I have ever seen dedicated to just breast health. The last year I have made many visits to the center and this is where I will have my biopsy this time as the spot is very small and these guys are the experts. The MRI’s, mammograms and the ultra sound’s have all been kind of a blur to me as I was so caught up in my condition. Last week at my visit to the center I started to notice my surroundings. This place resembles a spa, and its appearance on the outside is very beautiful. At this particular appointment I had been placed in a room with several other women that had mammograms and something in question had been seen on the test. The next step was to get an ultra sound so that a decision could be made to do a biopsy. I tried to look at a magazine and relax but found it really hard to concentrate. Thoughts started flooding my mind of the day they had first found the lump in my breast. I looked around the room at the faces of the other women in the room and could see and feel the presents of fear that filled them. Breast cancer doesn’t care who you are, there was young women old ones fat ones and skinny ones, all of us facing the same fear. I was different now and realized it at this very moment. I knew what was on every mind in the room, is it benign or malignant, has it spread to my lymph nodes? Will they have to take my entire breast off or will I have a lumpectomy? Has this cancer spread to other areas of my body, how will I take care of my family? Will my husband still love me with changes and scares my body will have forever? For some it was just the beginning of the journey that I have already started.
One girl stood out to me from the time I saw her. I could tell by the look on her face she was terrified. She must have been about the same age as my oldest daughter, somewhere in her middle thirties. She was a beautiful girl with long curly hair and a long slender body. She ended up in that room with the rest of us waiting for an ultra sound and was called into a room about the same time as myself. As the appointment ended I found myself in a dressing room putting clothing back on when I could hear someone crying. It was a quiet cry and a feeling of sadness ran through my entire body. When I left the dressing room she and I locked eyes and I could feel her hurt and I wanted to tell her she would be ok and she could do this but the words wouldn’t come. She was on my mind the entire day.
Yesterday as the day ended I said a prayer for the young woman and asked God to keep her near to him and to carry her as he has done for me.
I said a prayer for you today, and knew God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart, although he spoke no words.
I didn’t ask for wealth or fame, I knew you wouldn’t mind.
I asked him to send treasures of a far more lasting kind.
I asked that he’d be near you in all things great and small, but it was for his loving care I prayed for most of all.
God Bless
