Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Brenda Lee 1960






I’m Sorry, So Sorry……….I really am sorry for posting yesterday…………not sure it’s a day I even want to remember, but that’s ok cause I can only remember parts of it anyway. For me I feel like I have had a glimpse of what it feels like to be slowly positioned, not good! Anyway enough of that, yesterdays gone. I wanted to talk about,” what do you say when you go to visit someone that is doing chemotherapy treatment?” The people that came to visit in the beginning had a hard time looking me in the face, not all but most, and then they would say “I’m Sorry” and then what was I suppose to say? I would say, “It’s going to be ok” or “no need to be sorry” I have had some real sorry visitors. No pun intended! Don’t get me wrong, I Love visitors most of the time, but beware, if you haven’t called ahead! Some people are so taken back by breast cancer and its treatment that they decided to not even address it. I think for those of you who haven’t come to visit or even called you need to know something; I have breast cancer not cooties! You can’t catch it, and yes I do look different, some days more than others. And believe me today I look pretty scary! But getting back to being serious, I am a really nice person but when I feel this bad it can be really frustrating and I do get irritable. My visitors could be very dangerous to me right now because of the flu, strep throat and other viruses that are going around right now. I don’t want to sound like a broken record but as I have said before, chemo kills fast dividing cells and its working to kill the fast growing cancer cells and at the same time it is killing my white blood cells, the ones you need to fight off infection. So it wouldn’t be a good thing to catch something now. As this day begins to wrap up I can feel my body trying to heal itself, the chemo sick is still very strong but starting to become a little more tolerable.Just sayin.

:( Not Happy :(


January 17, 2011, well, to put it bluntly has really sucked! I feel so miserable and I don’t care who knows it! That being said, I will do this post and hope that you still continue to come back, because if it were me reading this I wouldn’t. But isn’t that what this is all about? Chemo, chemo, chemo, is that all I have on my mind? Yes, Yes, and Yes! This being day number four of my third chemo treatment with the new chemo medicine, I hoped I would feel better, but I don’t. Martin Luther King day, so no work for the husband, I am thankful he was here and took care of me all day long, I am blessed. The insertion of the picc line trauma has caused so much bruising, it looks worse than it is, but still really sucks.