Still Believing

My hopes and dreams for 2012 are to have a better year than the last. I guess that wouldn’t be to hard considering the stuff I had to do to make it through treatment. I’m not sure what to expect from day to day but I cherish each and every one and consider each day a gift.

The first week of January I found Cozy, she stole my heart from the day I first laid my eyes on her. I was at my youngest granddaughter’s gymnastic meet when I spotted a woman holding her. After a short conversation I learned she was a breeder and I was able to purchase the puppy from her. She had the best little personality and loved me as much as I loved her. The first week I had her she had a problem with her blood sugar and a trip to the vet assured me that she would be fine with extra care to make sure she was eating enough.

My biological father had been ill and was diagnosed with cancer of the liver. I hadn’t seen my dad in years and it was hard to say goodbye. I have many regrets when it comes to our relationship. I wish I had visited one more time and talked to him about many things that were left unsaid. He passed away just days before his 80^th birthday; he almost made it, now he will have no more suffering. I hate suffering. Sometimes I feel like I had two different childhood. One with my dad and then one after he left when I was twelve. Thinking of him makes me remember the young child in me.

By the time February had arrived Cozy was having regular problems with her blood sugar.  This is what I thought was happening. She would act so strange and it seemed to get harder and harder to get her to come around. Some days she would be fine others she would just be out of it?? I called the vet when she started showing signs of pain, she would cry out for no reason.

Yesterday when she tried to walk she was paralyzed. The vet kept her for the day and gave her pain medication to see if she would try to move around. By the end of the day when I returned to the clinic it was quite obvious that Cozy would not be able to move again. I talked with her and she would only respond with her sad eyes and I knew I had to let her go. I told her to go to Rainbow Bridge and I would meet her there one day. I kissed her lightly and said goodbye.  

  

With spring just around the corner I have prayed that the Lord will direct my step and guide me to the next chapter in my life. It’s a new day and I’m more than ready to embrace my life and move forward.

I’m believing for a wonderful  rest of the year!