Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel

Happy Birthday Amy Jo! Your How Old?

No way! It’s hard to believe that 37 years ago today she entered this world. I was living in a little town by the name of Worms Germany and when I went into labor I had to travel about an hour away to the town of Heidelberg. Because Germany is hours ahead of Seattle time my family at home said she was born on September 19, but where we were it was already September 20th and so her birthday was September 20th 1974. She would also share her Birthday with one of her grandmothers so that made her day even more special.

I was a young mom, just a month away from 19 and in a strange country. I was pretty brave or I guess at that age kind of stupid. I put her in a backpack and away we went. We were on the move everyday taking in as much of this fascinating place as possible.

My little girl is now all grown up and is a mommy herself. She works hard and has climbed to top at the company she works for.

While I was going through treatment for BC she stayed close to me at the same time taking care of her husband that in the past years was diagnosed with a heart problem. I could see the strain on her face but she stayed selfless and strong for the entire family.

My Birthday Wish for Amy is to have a wonderful year full of Happiness and countless Blessings!

Oh Yeah and that the Auburn Trojans win every game they play!

Happy Birthday Amy Jo from ChoCoMo! I love You!

Steroids and Blue Jeans

Steroids and Blue Jeans


Today I went shopping for some blue jeans. I love my jeans and have more than any one girl needs. This is the problem at hand. None of them fit me. Not one pair. I had refused to buy any new ones because this would mean I would need to purchase a larger size. Not part of my plan.

While I was doing chemo the new protocol is a medication that keeps you from being sick. Don’t get me wrong I am so happy that the nausea was mild and I didn’t have to live in the bathroom the entire time I was being treated. I always thought that chemo would be like on the movies when the sick person was so sick and weak from vomiting they would be on deaths door. Not at all was it like that, I was really sick but just didn’t have to worry about not eating because of this medication. The medicine was expensive; some don’t get it because their insurance company doesn’t cover it. I was fortunate and did receive this medication that is a steroid. Not only did I take this one but I also had to take prednisone because I was so allergic to the treatment. One of the kids ask me why I didn't get big muscles from the steroids, not the right kind of steroids. These steroids made me so hungry that I would eat and then be sick from the food and them just want to eat more. It wasn't fun, chemo recall was something I had been warned about. What happens is you eat one of your favorite foods and then it makes you feel sick. Then every time you try to eat that particular food it makes you feel ill again. I lost the desire for some of my favorite foods.

When I was first diagnosed my first thought was to find something good in the situation? I thought I would for sure lose a bunch of weight, that would be positive. Not so! It seemed so cruel, I was bald, pale, and fat with scares on my boob. I reminded myself of Uncle Fester, you know who I'm talking about.

During treatment I gained sixty pounds, what! I couldn’t believe it! It seemed like I just woke up one morning and it was there?

I have gotten back on an exercise routine and went to visit a nutritionist I’ve lost seventeen pounds and everyone of them were harder to lose than any routine I have ever been on before. My stamina is not at all what it used to be and I find myself getting pooped out really easy. Some days I have to make myself move.

Today I decided to embrace the body that I have now and continue to work on being healthy and feeling good. I know it’s only a matter of time before I will be back in my old jeans but for now I purchased two new pairs of blue jeans. I give thanks today that I am alive and well and able to wear my bigger blue Jeans.

The Not So Glamorous Day

Almost ten years ago my younger sister was diagnosed with colon cancer. She was in for the fight of her life. I won’t go into detail but it was scary and painful for her and she suffered immensely. She was only thirty nine and much too young to have to endure this.

A few years later my father was also diagnosed with colon cancer, he too suffered and with much prayer and faith he was able to fight this.

This wasn’t good news for me and my other siblings. We were instructed to make sure we all had colonoscopies to make sure we were all fine. Colon cancer seems to run in families, but not always. It can strike anyone. Most of the time it happens to older people but not always, just this year I lost a friend that was my age to colon cancer.

What exactly is a colonoscopy? This is what I found.

Colonoscopy is a procedure used to see inside the colon and rectum. Colonoscopy can detect inflamed tissue, ulcers, and abnormal growths. The procedure is used to look for early signs of colorectal cancer and can help doctors diagnose unexplained changes in bowel habits, abdominal pain, bleeding from the anus, and weight loss

OK, so I didn’t have any of this so what’s the big deal? So this is the big deal! If you don’t have any of this stuff going on by the age of fifty we need to have this procedure done. Seems as we age little polyps can grow on the colon wall. These can also be removed during the colonoscopy procedure. If left to grow, over the years these little growths turn into cancer.

I had never had this procedure and have to say it didn’t sound like something that I was looking forward to doing. But as you know I have learned my lesson about procrastination and how important early detection is when it comes to any cancer.

I made the appointment and made sure it was a few months into the future so that I would have some strength back and maybe find away to get out of having to do it. Maybe something more important would come up and I could cancel and just do this later, much later. But that didn’t happen.

A few days before my appointment I was instructed to go on a low fiber diet. This was easy enough, then the day before I was able to eat breakfast and then just clear liquids. At 5:00 in the evening I started drinking the solution to cleanse my colon. Every fifteen minutes I had to consume 8oz’s of this stuff. It had a lemon flavor and wasn’t really that bad. There was four liters in all to get down and at one point it looked impossible, but I did it! Oh yea, and I did spend most of the evening in the restroom.

My appointment was at 9:00 and after being checked in and an IV in place they gave me a sedation and the next thing I knew I was awake and only twenty minutes later. My sister had brought me and once I was dressed we were on our way home. I hadn’t had any food for twenty four hours so that was all I had on my mind.

If you’re reading this and your far from “fifty” file this away and remember to get yours when the time comes.

If you are “fifty” or more and you haven’t yet had yours, don’t put it off, days come and go and before we know it years have gone by.

As for me my results were good, I did have one polyp and it was a tiny one. They removed it and sent me on my way. Most people only have to do this test every ten years. I will have to schedule this procedure every five years because of the history of my family.

Time Flies

Wow! An entire year has come and gone and I have to say it’s a year of life to remember or try to forget, one of the two. I feel like my body has been pushed to the limit and is still trying to find its way back to normal. Whatever normal is? I do know that with every day that passes I am starting to feel stronger. It’s a strange thing, my body has been so sick for so long. My spirit and soul has also struggled. I’m not sure if I will ever be myself again but I can be the new and better me and this is what I will strive for.


It was in the early morning hours of Labor Day September 5th 2010 that I discovered the ugly lump and little did I know my life would never be the same. I have learned some really important lessons along the way.

 Never skip your mammogram. Make sure to make it to your yearly appointment.

 Make sure to schedule that fun fun thing called a pap smear.

 Have your yearly physical and make sure it includes blood work to check your cholesterol, blood sugar, and vitamin D Levels.

 Don’t forget that when you turn 50 to schedule that so looked forward to colonoscopy. (This is the one I would like to skip but know how important early detection is).

 Check your body for moles and other funny looking thing that may appear on your skin. Then make your appointment with the dermatologist.

 Don’t procrastinate!

I have taken care of everything on my check list and all has checked out good. With every test I take I get a little anxious waiting for the test results. When the results are in it’s a wonderful feeling to know that all is well.

Time seems to fly and we all get busy. I had let myself go for almost four years without having a mammogram! What was I thinking? Early detection is the key; I met ladies during radiation that didn’t have to experience chemo and only had to do radiation for treatment. Because my tumor had grown to the size it was I had to do the chemo. That’s hard to live with.

Tomorrow morning I will start a cleanse and spend the day preparing for my colonoscopy that is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Not what I consider a fun day but I know I will feel so much better when the result are in and I have peace of mind and know that all is well.

Dancing Chickens

The Dancing Chickens


At one of our recent outdoor gatherings my son-in-law decided to treat us with what he called Beer Can Chicken. This chicken was moist and juicy and I loved watching it cook. He rubbed the chickens with seasoning and then placed them on open beer cans with half the can full of beer and some garlic cloves floating inside. It took a couple hours for them to cook but it was so worth the wait. You can even do this in the oven so you can enjoy this recipe all year long.

The day of this gathering my grandkids danced around the backyard and were full of their wonderful energy.

I couldn’t help thinking how the chickens looked like they were dancing too so I have changed the name of the recipe form Beer Can Chickens to Dancing Chickens.

A Celebration for Mom

A Celebration for Mom


August 27, 2007 was the day the Lord called my mom home. After her memorial service back in 2007 we all came together and had a celebration in my backyard. That day was the hardest day of my life. It felt like someone had torn my heart out and punch me in the gut all at the same time. So many people came that day and I know she was looking down on us and happy that they had all came to comfort us and to say their goodbyes to her. I had bought 50 white balloons to send to the heavens filled with love from everyone of us. My daughter Rachel had gone to the hospital the week before to see her grandma and to sing to her. She loved to hear Rachel sing and so did many at the hospital that day. She ended up singing for another that was facing end of life and it was nice for that family too.

At our first celebration Rachel sang the song my mother loved to hear. “One Moment in Time” and as the last words of the song say, “I will be free” we all let our balloons go to float up to the heavens.

Every year on this day we get together and have our celebration. We talk about what color of balloons we want to have each year and how many we think we should buy. The second year we did pink and last year it was yellow. This year my sister Estelle decided we should do red so we could see them is the sky better and she was so right. The red balloons against the blue sky were beautiful.

I missed her so much when I was sick, something about moms that just seem to make everything better. The first year she was gone I kinda checked out and just went through the motions of everyday life. In time things did get better but I still have days that I miss her like crazy.

Today my son ask me if I was OK and I told him yes, and he said “you seem sad” I told him, I’m not sad I’m just remembering my mom and all the things that I miss about her. I know she’s looking down on us and doesn’t want us to be sad and everyday when she walks with God she says a prayer for us.

Today when the end of the song was sang and the red balloons floated away to the heavens I remembered her smile and the love she brought to our family.

The Human Pin Cushion

Acupuncture


I never had hot flashes! What in the world was I going to do walking around all hot and sweaty all the time? The hot flashes started during chemo and they called it chemo pause. Not menopause. At my age this should have been familiar to me but you know how I do stuff, always my own way.

During radiation it got to the point that I could no longer rest at night because of theses crazy power surges that would attack through the day and night. After many complaints to the doctor they finally gave me a prescription for a medication that they said might help.

I guess this hot flash thing is kind of a mystery, they don’t know exactly why it happens but one thing is for sure. The hormone estrogen plays a big role. And the little pill did help some, not completely but any relief from this was good.

Six weeks after the radiation stopped came the Tamoxfin, the little pill that I would take for the next five years to block estrogen from my breast and give me assurance and make sure the cancer did not return.

If I thought the hot flashes were bad before I was not at all prepare for what was to come. I couldn’t go anywhere without having one after another and they would get worse when I was out. They would come about every half hour 24 hours a day.

I started reading about supplements and soon was taking anything that might possibly help. Flax seed oil, sage and more. One of the articles mentioned acupuncture. I can’t say I love needles and the last year I have felt like a human pin cushion anyway but I decided it was worth a try. Americans are conditioned to trauma when needles are involved. But these tiny instruments are about 1/8 of a human hair, that’s really tiny!

I was surprised at how comfortable and relaxing the treatment was and it has actually worked! This treatment has been around for thousands of years and has been very effective for me. For now I will continue to have weekly treatments with the tiny needles and pray it continues to work.