February 15, 2011
I was thinking today that something was wrong but what was it? It seemed to stay with me the entire day; the more I tried to figure the feeling out the more it bothered me. I can remember when I first started my treatment talking with another who was fighting the fight and her mention of depression. Now depression is something very foreign to me, I have never thought of myself as one who suffers from depression.
I think back to when I was first diagnosed and the journey I have taken with so little control over what was coming next. So one would think that it would get easier but this is where I have had to call on my faith. I have to remember that my God given faith is all I have that will always be with me and will always stay the same.
I have had many surprises along the way, from having to have my surgery repeated, the bad reactions to chemo and the blood clots and infections. Had I known what I would have had to face during this journey I would have said, I can’t do that, but I have and with every day that passes I am getting closer to being myself again.
The last thing I would want now is to let depression have a part in my journey, not to down play the fact that this is very real and many going through treatment that have never had to deal with depression now have to face this too. Never knowing how I will feel from day to day stinks but I know that in time this too will pass.
So for me I believe, I’m too blessed to be depressed!
