A Celebration for Mom

A Celebration for Mom


August 27, 2007 was the day the Lord called my mom home. After her memorial service back in 2007 we all came together and had a celebration in my backyard. That day was the hardest day of my life. It felt like someone had torn my heart out and punch me in the gut all at the same time. So many people came that day and I know she was looking down on us and happy that they had all came to comfort us and to say their goodbyes to her. I had bought 50 white balloons to send to the heavens filled with love from everyone of us. My daughter Rachel had gone to the hospital the week before to see her grandma and to sing to her. She loved to hear Rachel sing and so did many at the hospital that day. She ended up singing for another that was facing end of life and it was nice for that family too.

At our first celebration Rachel sang the song my mother loved to hear. “One Moment in Time” and as the last words of the song say, “I will be free” we all let our balloons go to float up to the heavens.

Every year on this day we get together and have our celebration. We talk about what color of balloons we want to have each year and how many we think we should buy. The second year we did pink and last year it was yellow. This year my sister Estelle decided we should do red so we could see them is the sky better and she was so right. The red balloons against the blue sky were beautiful.

I missed her so much when I was sick, something about moms that just seem to make everything better. The first year she was gone I kinda checked out and just went through the motions of everyday life. In time things did get better but I still have days that I miss her like crazy.

Today my son ask me if I was OK and I told him yes, and he said “you seem sad” I told him, I’m not sad I’m just remembering my mom and all the things that I miss about her. I know she’s looking down on us and doesn’t want us to be sad and everyday when she walks with God she says a prayer for us.

Today when the end of the song was sang and the red balloons floated away to the heavens I remembered her smile and the love she brought to our family.

The Human Pin Cushion

Acupuncture


I never had hot flashes! What in the world was I going to do walking around all hot and sweaty all the time? The hot flashes started during chemo and they called it chemo pause. Not menopause. At my age this should have been familiar to me but you know how I do stuff, always my own way.

During radiation it got to the point that I could no longer rest at night because of theses crazy power surges that would attack through the day and night. After many complaints to the doctor they finally gave me a prescription for a medication that they said might help.

I guess this hot flash thing is kind of a mystery, they don’t know exactly why it happens but one thing is for sure. The hormone estrogen plays a big role. And the little pill did help some, not completely but any relief from this was good.

Six weeks after the radiation stopped came the Tamoxfin, the little pill that I would take for the next five years to block estrogen from my breast and give me assurance and make sure the cancer did not return.

If I thought the hot flashes were bad before I was not at all prepare for what was to come. I couldn’t go anywhere without having one after another and they would get worse when I was out. They would come about every half hour 24 hours a day.

I started reading about supplements and soon was taking anything that might possibly help. Flax seed oil, sage and more. One of the articles mentioned acupuncture. I can’t say I love needles and the last year I have felt like a human pin cushion anyway but I decided it was worth a try. Americans are conditioned to trauma when needles are involved. But these tiny instruments are about 1/8 of a human hair, that’s really tiny!

I was surprised at how comfortable and relaxing the treatment was and it has actually worked! This treatment has been around for thousands of years and has been very effective for me. For now I will continue to have weekly treatments with the tiny needles and pray it continues to work.

Destiny

Recently I have found myself doing a lot of reminiscing and I know why. With the recent loss of a long time friend my mind started wondering about where everyone was and what must they be doing now. I started a search on FB for more of my past friend and didn’t have much luck. I have a few friends from my past on FB. Some who like to communicate and others that don’t. Some of the guys are not easy to correspond with, I’m not sure why? Maybe they have significant others that don’t feel comfortable with other women talking to their men? I don’t want them; if I did I would have had them! I’m happily married and not interested in anything more than friends. OK, now that I got that out of the way.


I was able to find some of my old friends from the phone book and added some of them to my friends list on FB. I even have one of the guy’s wives as a friend and am getting to know her. She must be very secure in her relationship. I’m happy for him.

After doing some Google searches I came across a sight called Northwest Music. To my surprise I found old pictures of my teenage friends that played in a local band called Rainbow Trails. These guys were my close friends and entertained me for many years. As time went on and we all started turning 21 I would go to the club to see my friends entertain.

Things change and a couple of the band members left. The two that were left were brothers and found a new guitar player and a new drummer and continued to entertain all over the Seattle area.

I had spent some time in Germany and couldn’t wait to see my old friends when I returned. My girlfriend and I went  to check out the new additions to the band. That was the night I met my husband, the new drummer would turn out to be the man I would marry. That was 33 years ago, and today he plays in a band called Gun-shy, still playing his drums and performing with some great seasoned musicians. PS The girl is our daughter.

Brian in the back on the left.

Goodbye My Friend

I logged onto FB the other night and was crushed and shocked to see a post from an old friend saying that another of our friends had passed away from colon cancer. It sent a sense of sadness through me that I can’t find the words to describe.


It was late in the evening and I found myself alone with memories racing through my head. The last time I saw Dave had been years before. He had often crossed my mind because I knew we lived in the same town for some time and very close but we never seemed to cross paths.

My friend was sweet and kind and very handsome and I said a prayer for him and ask God to please be with his family. He was way too young and it’s so hard to understand but I keep my faith in God and praise him in this storm.

Back Yard Wedding

We started preparing the back yard for the big day at the beginning of the summer. Just a little work each day and soon the wedding day was upon us and the back yard looked magical. It rained the day before and the day after but we were blessed with a beautiful day for the occasion.

My energy level sucks! I use to work circles around everyone but I was exhausted from the preparation.

Now Jeff is married to his soul mate, wonderful Stacie, and we welcomed her into our family. Jeff is my oldest daughter Amy Jo and her husband Jake’s oldest son.

I wish them much Happiness.

My Brother

I don’t remember the first time I meet him, my childhood memories didn’t start until he was about a year old. By that time I was just about four years old and it seemed he had always been there. At that time, I had two older sisters and a little brother. I loved him with all my heart and was very protective of him.


I remember my father being so happy to finally have a boy, after three girls he had finally hit the jackpot. He was a sweet boy and loved by all of his older sisters. He and I had a special bond and were best of friends. He was all boy and loved getting dirty building things and playing with worms and bugs, And even though I was a girly girly he was still the apple of my eye.

When we were grown we went out into the world to start our lives and he continued to make me proud. The day he returned home and I saw him in that uniform, I knew he had changed and was now a man.

When our mother passed he came to give the eulogy. I know it was hard for him, having three older sisters and one younger sister sitting in the chapel staring at him from behind dark glasses. But with his strong and confident voice he delivered wonderful words to make all of us feel better.

When I was sick this last year I always tried to find good in the situation. Some may find it hard to believe but when the world slows down and we have time to reminisce it can be a true gift. I love to remember the footprints in my mind and to revisit my childhood.

Time has passed and everyone is busy doing what they do but I will always remember my childhood friend, my baby brother.

You've Come A Long Way Baby

With each day that comes and goes my body is getting stronger and stronger. Some days I feel better than others and its strange how some can be so good and others so bad. I'm glad to report that most days are good ones. When I stay active I seem to feel better but its not always easy to keep going. I sleep more than a normal person should and I know it's the chemicals from the treatment still leaving my body.

In 1978 I was involved in an accident that left my body broken, the break in my back had came so close to ending my ability to walk and my left leg was broken in so many places the doctor's didn't know if it could be saved. As time has gone by the old injuries have given me some trouble but for the most part I have done well. I was to have knee replacement surgery but it had to be put on hold because of the breast cancer. The treatment for the cancer has caused the injuries to be magnified. I have a bit of a limp but am thankful that I am able to walk.



In a writing class I had taken I was given an assignment to write about a day that had changed my life. I would like to share it with you.



One Saturday Night

Life can change in the blink of an eye and this night would prove to change my life forever. My story begins on a Saturday afternoon, much like any other Saturday. The loud ringing of the phone brought a sense of excitement as I waited to hear from my new boyfriend. His band was playing on the Island, and he was hopping I would be there. After convincing my older sister how much fun we would have, we started to make a plan for the night out. My girlfriend called and she and another girl had met some guys that drove a van. How perfect! We could all ride together and save money on the ferry ride to the Island.



The music in the bathroom blared as we sang along and fussed over our hair and makeup. As I slipped on my new white jeans, I could hear a car coming into the driveway. The blasting of a horn followed and I knew the party had already started.



It was 1978 and the van was really a cool ride. The outside had a mural of a mountain in brilliant colors. The front seats for the driver and passenger were the only seats in the vehicle. The rest of the van was open except for a bed against the very back. All of us fit comfortably into the van. It was perfect; counting myself and sister there were ten passengers in all.



After boarding the ferry, we quickly made our way to the upper deck and soon we were underway. As the large boat rocked back and forth, I gazed out over the water and felt a wonderful sense of peace. A sense of peace that at that very moment seemed jaded as I recalled to myself that the driver of the van had starting drinking before we had even made it to the club. I quickly convinced myself everything would be okay



The music was loud and we danced and danced some more. Before I knew it, the night had come to an end and it was time to get back to the ferry terminal. We knew there was no time to waste because the last ferry of the day would leave at 2:00 am. As we drove down the dark windy road, the driver realized we were lost and I suddenly felt a sense of panic. Soon we were back on track and heading in the right direction. The driver realized he wasn’t going to make the ferry on time unless he sped it up. The van accelerated and started slipping around corners as we began to go faster and faster. The passengers in the van all started to cheer as they anticipated the arrival at the ferry dock. As we rounder the last corner of the road and could see the water ahead, the driver lost control of the van and the vehicle slid to the right; until it came upon a Union 76 station pole, where it found its final resting place.



I don’t know how much time passed but as I started to wake up I realized I was lying face down on what felt like cold metal. I sensed something warm on my face, as I wiped it away; I could see the blood on my hand and knew it was coming from my nose. It was quiet and peaceful and I was out again, to a place that I don’t have a memory of. I woke to the voices of men, as intense pain set in once they started putting my broken body on a board. The next thing I knew, it was very cold and the sound of a helicopter was all I could hear. Time passed very quickly with only short pieces of my memory intact.



The next day, the newspaper reported the worst accident in history to occur on the island. The driver of the vehicle was intoxicated and the estimated speed of the van when it collided with the pole was 70 miles per hour.



Two of the passengers in the van died that night. The driver was dead at the scene and the other died 30 minutes after the accident. One of my close friends had a severe head injury and died a few years later. My sister and another girl walked away without a scratch. The rest of the passengers had their own story to tell. I ended up spending almost six months in the hospital and the next year in a wheelchair, then on crutches. My body was never the same. Because of this, I now have a new appreciation for life and every experience that comes with it.



I started talking to my kids at an early age about wearing seat-belts, something we never did back then, and more importantly to never get in a vehicle with someone who has been drinking. I made some really bad decisions that night and because of that my life has been changed forever.



( I can't believe the things we didn't know about smoking back then) We Have Come A Long Way!